On those days when everyone keeps talking to me about the one thing I just can't bare to talk about and I am upset and come home all weepy eyed and tell you all about it, I don't want you to fix the problem.
I want chocolate and a tight squeeze.
Nothing more.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Oh my job...
I will often have my students 'trade and grade' because it makes my life just a little bit easier when I am grading quizzes. (Obviously I don't do this for Tests)
Today I found this on a paper...
Today I found this on a paper...
I wrote on his paper: Do not write anything more than your name on the paper you grade. Kevin's parents do not care that you are a 'triple O.G. gangster' or your thug status.
Kids these days.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
TMFH: Sacrament Talks
The day before I give a talk, you are basically my slave. Feed me, listen to me, scratch my back while I'm pondering and make sure everything and everyone else leaves me alone.
Its what Jesus would do.
Its what Jesus would do.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Things Worth Waiting For...
Remember that one time when I blogged about kissing?
Yeah me neither. This is a dad warning...aka dad, unless you want to hear about my kissing history, you should probably stop reading. Continue reading at your own risk.
I am not patient.
Fo'real.
I get annoyed when the person in front of me takes forever checking out and I get pretty perturbed if the person behind me in line at security ends up getting through the pat down before me. Did I also mention I'm super mature. Cuz I am.
When I was 16 years old, I met a pretty awesome guy, who's name will not be mentioned, mainly because I don't feel like asking him if its okay to write about him. But if you're reading this, Hey! How's it going? Anyways, as most boy/girl 16 year old relationships go, we started dating. He was practically perefect in every way, kind of like the male version of Mary Poppins, or Sherry Bobbins, or Mark Wahlberg ( in which case he would be the Mormon equivalent to him since they are both already male...) but there was just one problem- his parents had promised him $1000 if he made it his entire four years of high school without having his first kiss.
I don't know if their motivation was to keep their kid out of the back seat of a car, or maybe it was one of those things that you say to someone knowing full well that you'll never have to make good on the promise because it is completely unattainable ( like telling me you'll pay me $1000 to not be sarcastic for a week or to wear outfits and makeup my mom picked out for a week. It sounds like easy money, and then I realize what that entails and I give up all together). Anyways, they promised him this money and as we started to spend more time together and hold hands (gasp!!!) the more I kept thinking, "their is no way I'm going to cost this guy a thousand bucks"
I mean, don't get me wrong, I hadn't kissed a whole lot of boys up to that point, but I had kissed a few and was pretty sure that I was a pretty decent kisser. However, I didn't think that kissing me was worth a thousand dollars. So we must have spent more than two months of our dating period just hanging out and holding hands. If I remember correctly we would email each other throughout the week and then see each other on the weekends and it's probably the most I knew about any guy I dated from the time I was 14-20. We had excellent communication, we laughed so much, had tons of inside jokes and I think I made him love his full name for the first time ever. Eventually we did kiss, but it was after we were both emotionally invested ( as much as one can be at 16) and we both knew what we we're getting into.
Fast forward 12 years. Here I am on the verge of my 28th birthday. I have seen A LOT of boyfriends come and go, kissed a lot of frogs since then, and a few weeks ago I find myself on a date where a guy tells me he doesn't kiss for three months of knowing a girl and I think to myself, "can I even do that??" at the time I thought I was totally justified in thinking that he was a total square, but as I have had time to reflect over my Christmas break, I have thought about this a lot. (I did also hang out with 16 year old wonder man and remember why I thought he was amazing and kick myself for screwing it up all those years ago...not that it wouldn't have ended anyways, but I pretty much slammed that door shut in my own face...twice)
While I am not an advocate for waiting extended periods of time to kiss (ie waiting until you get married), I think there is something to be said about being patient, letting life happen! Are we really so focused on progression that we can't let life happen, naturally? Is it that important to us that we 'get results' that we can't be calm?? And I'm not just referring to kissing (I know dad, you are so proud). Change happens gradually, so can we really be upset if nothing happens after day one of our Kanye West Work Out Plan (don't google that) or if we don't learn to stand up on a surf board the first three times we go (or four...or five...or six)
The point is BE PATIENT!! Learning and progressing and growing are all processes. I think a small part of me has always chosen to ignore how infinitely connected patience and faith are. Faith is believing in things without seeing them. Patience is the continual belief in something until you actually have the proof. And then the faith converts to knowledge. Its like math...without the numbers. I am no good at the patience part, but I feel like lately, that is what Heavenly Father has wanted me to learn. Patience with myself as I learn and stretch and do hard things that hurt and are uncomfortable for me. Patience with my students as they learn and stretch and do hard things that hurt and are uncomfortable for them. Patience with those around me who are struggling beyond what I know or understand.
The growth at the end of all of that patience is something worth waiting for. I am worth waiting for. That exciting moment when you figure something out after months of agonizing, or you finally stand up on that surf board or run that race and do well. THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH WAITING FOR!! Because when the answers, or relief, or whatever it is you feel like you need comes, it means so much more, because you waited for it.
But basically what I'm saying is I am not allowed to get mad if I don't get kissed on the first date.
Yeah me neither. This is a dad warning...aka dad, unless you want to hear about my kissing history, you should probably stop reading. Continue reading at your own risk.
I am not patient.
Fo'real.
I get annoyed when the person in front of me takes forever checking out and I get pretty perturbed if the person behind me in line at security ends up getting through the pat down before me. Did I also mention I'm super mature. Cuz I am.
When I was 16 years old, I met a pretty awesome guy, who's name will not be mentioned, mainly because I don't feel like asking him if its okay to write about him. But if you're reading this, Hey! How's it going? Anyways, as most boy/girl 16 year old relationships go, we started dating. He was practically perefect in every way, kind of like the male version of Mary Poppins, or Sherry Bobbins, or Mark Wahlberg ( in which case he would be the Mormon equivalent to him since they are both already male...) but there was just one problem- his parents had promised him $1000 if he made it his entire four years of high school without having his first kiss.
I don't know if their motivation was to keep their kid out of the back seat of a car, or maybe it was one of those things that you say to someone knowing full well that you'll never have to make good on the promise because it is completely unattainable ( like telling me you'll pay me $1000 to not be sarcastic for a week or to wear outfits and makeup my mom picked out for a week. It sounds like easy money, and then I realize what that entails and I give up all together). Anyways, they promised him this money and as we started to spend more time together and hold hands (gasp!!!) the more I kept thinking, "their is no way I'm going to cost this guy a thousand bucks"
I mean, don't get me wrong, I hadn't kissed a whole lot of boys up to that point, but I had kissed a few and was pretty sure that I was a pretty decent kisser. However, I didn't think that kissing me was worth a thousand dollars. So we must have spent more than two months of our dating period just hanging out and holding hands. If I remember correctly we would email each other throughout the week and then see each other on the weekends and it's probably the most I knew about any guy I dated from the time I was 14-20. We had excellent communication, we laughed so much, had tons of inside jokes and I think I made him love his full name for the first time ever. Eventually we did kiss, but it was after we were both emotionally invested ( as much as one can be at 16) and we both knew what we we're getting into.
Fast forward 12 years. Here I am on the verge of my 28th birthday. I have seen A LOT of boyfriends come and go, kissed a lot of frogs since then, and a few weeks ago I find myself on a date where a guy tells me he doesn't kiss for three months of knowing a girl and I think to myself, "can I even do that??" at the time I thought I was totally justified in thinking that he was a total square, but as I have had time to reflect over my Christmas break, I have thought about this a lot. (I did also hang out with 16 year old wonder man and remember why I thought he was amazing and kick myself for screwing it up all those years ago...not that it wouldn't have ended anyways, but I pretty much slammed that door shut in my own face...twice)
While I am not an advocate for waiting extended periods of time to kiss (ie waiting until you get married), I think there is something to be said about being patient, letting life happen! Are we really so focused on progression that we can't let life happen, naturally? Is it that important to us that we 'get results' that we can't be calm?? And I'm not just referring to kissing (I know dad, you are so proud). Change happens gradually, so can we really be upset if nothing happens after day one of our Kanye West Work Out Plan (don't google that) or if we don't learn to stand up on a surf board the first three times we go (or four...or five...or six)
The point is BE PATIENT!! Learning and progressing and growing are all processes. I think a small part of me has always chosen to ignore how infinitely connected patience and faith are. Faith is believing in things without seeing them. Patience is the continual belief in something until you actually have the proof. And then the faith converts to knowledge. Its like math...without the numbers. I am no good at the patience part, but I feel like lately, that is what Heavenly Father has wanted me to learn. Patience with myself as I learn and stretch and do hard things that hurt and are uncomfortable for me. Patience with my students as they learn and stretch and do hard things that hurt and are uncomfortable for them. Patience with those around me who are struggling beyond what I know or understand.
The growth at the end of all of that patience is something worth waiting for. I am worth waiting for. That exciting moment when you figure something out after months of agonizing, or you finally stand up on that surf board or run that race and do well. THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH WAITING FOR!! Because when the answers, or relief, or whatever it is you feel like you need comes, it means so much more, because you waited for it.
But basically what I'm saying is I am not allowed to get mad if I don't get kissed on the first date.
Friday, December 16, 2011
TMFH: Christmas Music
Just so you know, I am just like those really awesome/annoying Christmas radio stations. Midnight Thanksgiving night, I turn into all Christmas, all the time.
Trust me, its awesome.
Trust me, its awesome.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Joy to the World the Teacher is Dead
That's probably what my students who are currently taking a final right now are singing in their heads. They are probably also thinking, 'Dang...She types fast.' Cuz I'm pretty awesome like that. I think I was actually pretty obsessed with that stupid game Mavos Beacon Typing...and I may or may not have downloaded it as an adult to play for fun, and became so consumed with the racing game on that program that I had to stop playing because I was constantly trying to type faster. I'm super mature. I know.
I have been so busy in the last two months or so I didn't really have time to blog. Over Thanksgiving I ran half marathon #4 and set a personal record of 2 hours and 19 minutes. Yes I know that is not fast, no I don't care.
I have been meaning to write a post about this for a month or so now, I just haven't gotten around to it, and I think had I written it before it wouldn't have been as meaningful as it is to me now. Funny how life works out like that.
A few weeks after I got back from my summer vacation (read: got back from working hard for the money) our stake president stopped by our ward. He got up and talked about a girl, Elizabeth Steed, who a few years ago got up at a Youth Conference and bore her testimony. Elizabeth was 16 at the time and told a story about how all she wanted to do was get asked to the Prom. She knelt one night to pray and begged Heavenly Father to find her a date to Prom. Halfway through the prayer she stood up, walked around the room and thought, 'What am I thinking?? Heavenly Father isn't worried about whether I have a date to the Prom or not. I need to pray about things that really matter!' So she thought for a minute, and then knelt again to pray. As she knelt the second time, she heard these words distinctly in the silence, 'Elizabeth, Elizabeth. What's important to you is important to me.' She knew that it was the voice of the Spirit relaying to her that her Father in Heaven was worried about what was important to her.
Let me just stop right here and tell you that this is what I looked like after he shared that story.
So over the last few months I have thought a lot about that, but it became ever more important while having a late night convo with one of my BFF's Jenna. She is shown HERE:
This is Jenna with the glasses, me and Louise one of my other BFFs at Twilight Midnight showing. DON'T JUDGE US!
Now combine that with Elizabeth's story and I just have been a praying fool lately! I have been praying for others, I have been praying for my students (its finals, they need all the help they can get) I have been praying for my work outs, I have been praying for my siblings, for their kids. I have been praying for my roommates, my co-workers. I have been praying for dating opportunities and for the gift of discernment. i have been praying about EVERYTHING that is important to me, and it is amazing how connected to the Savior and my Father in Heaven I am.
I know that what's important to me is important to Him. I am so glad that they are just like my earthly parents, who listen to my ridiculous ramblings, who calm my fears and counsel me in my struggles and decisions. I am trying to treat prayer just like a phone call home, because really that is exactly what it is.
So I might start praying to find a pair of these that fit...
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I'm on the Up and Up
It hasn't been a real banner week in the life of me. Do you ever just have those groups of days where you are up and down and up and down? Well its been one of those for me. To the point where I haven't wanted to say anything. I'm pretty sure my roommates think I am crazy because of an evening on Thursday that started with me coming home after grading papers until 7pm, spilling the leftovers of my breakfast smoothie all over myself while walking into the house, being annoyed with said spilling, running 5 miles to make myself less mad, being annoyed with everyone anyways, complete emotional breakdown, histerical hour long conversation with my mom, and a priesthood blessing. All before 11pm. I am talented.
Sometimes life is just hard! And I am realizing more and more that I am due for some really hard things to happen, and that is okay. I feel like in the last year my ability to cope with tough situations and things has increased and with that, my probability of experiencing those things has increased. You know what they say-God must really have a sense of humor.
Now I don't say any of these things to be a downer, I have learned a lot in the last week from words from other people, aforementioned priesthood blessing, and some sweet wonderful personal revelation. It never ceases to amaze me how much my Father in Heaven is aware of my needs and the things I struggle with. I am so grateful for those wonderful moments.
Last sunday I was getting ready for church-like I normally do- but instead of listening to music, I decided to listen to the Mormon Radio Channel on my phone. A small decision, probably not that significant in the scheme of things. One of the comercials they played was one from one of the new 'I am Mormon' campaign bios. I LOVE THESE! I secretly want to do something really cool so that I can have one made about me. One in particular that I have always been a fan of is Stephanie Nielson. If you know me well you know that I am obsessed with her blog and talking about her. I think she is so amazing. I have heard her little ad a thousand times, but last Sunday a particular line stuck out to me more so than ever before.
She said, 'I am not my body'.
I know what your thinking, 'What on earth does this have to do with your moody behavior?' 'Why are you such a girl' and 'What the heck does that even mean?'
This may not be all that important to you, or even make sense to you in the same way that it struck a chord with me, but I found this to be some of the sweetest words I had heard in a while. It is no secret that I have struggled my entire life with maintaining a healthy weight and diet. I am not obese by any means but I have a hard time. I am up and down and a lot of the time have these overwhelming feelings that 'if I were skinnier I would be married'. Even typing that out right now makes me want to hit myself because it seems like such a stupid thing to say, but unfortunately that is how it has been. Lately I feel like I have been loosing so much more than I have been winning in every aspect of my life. It is sometimes so hard in those moments to feel that I am a loved daughter of God or that anyone could really love me when I have such a hard time loving all of who I am.
As I heard the words 'I am not my body' I realized that my worth is not based on my weight or marital status. I realized that though I struggle, I am still important to my earthly family and my Father in Heaven.
I AM LOVED!!
Maybe not by a husband or a boyfriend, but by family and friends and a Savior who loves and knows me best. Surely he has born MY GRIEF and I need to remember how blessed I have been and continue to be by the Lord. I have been waiting for the Golden Ticket of Happiness and I have not tried to find happiness in where I am Right now.
I will never stop hoping, but I need to find beauty and sweetness in the every day life.
I need to be here now.
Up And Up (Acoustic) Lyrics
Sometimes life is just hard! And I am realizing more and more that I am due for some really hard things to happen, and that is okay. I feel like in the last year my ability to cope with tough situations and things has increased and with that, my probability of experiencing those things has increased. You know what they say-God must really have a sense of humor.Now I don't say any of these things to be a downer, I have learned a lot in the last week from words from other people, aforementioned priesthood blessing, and some sweet wonderful personal revelation. It never ceases to amaze me how much my Father in Heaven is aware of my needs and the things I struggle with. I am so grateful for those wonderful moments.
Last sunday I was getting ready for church-like I normally do- but instead of listening to music, I decided to listen to the Mormon Radio Channel on my phone. A small decision, probably not that significant in the scheme of things. One of the comercials they played was one from one of the new 'I am Mormon' campaign bios. I LOVE THESE! I secretly want to do something really cool so that I can have one made about me. One in particular that I have always been a fan of is Stephanie Nielson. If you know me well you know that I am obsessed with her blog and talking about her. I think she is so amazing. I have heard her little ad a thousand times, but last Sunday a particular line stuck out to me more so than ever before.
She said, 'I am not my body'.
I know what your thinking, 'What on earth does this have to do with your moody behavior?' 'Why are you such a girl' and 'What the heck does that even mean?'
This may not be all that important to you, or even make sense to you in the same way that it struck a chord with me, but I found this to be some of the sweetest words I had heard in a while. It is no secret that I have struggled my entire life with maintaining a healthy weight and diet. I am not obese by any means but I have a hard time. I am up and down and a lot of the time have these overwhelming feelings that 'if I were skinnier I would be married'. Even typing that out right now makes me want to hit myself because it seems like such a stupid thing to say, but unfortunately that is how it has been. Lately I feel like I have been loosing so much more than I have been winning in every aspect of my life. It is sometimes so hard in those moments to feel that I am a loved daughter of God or that anyone could really love me when I have such a hard time loving all of who I am.
As I heard the words 'I am not my body' I realized that my worth is not based on my weight or marital status. I realized that though I struggle, I am still important to my earthly family and my Father in Heaven.
I AM LOVED!!
Maybe not by a husband or a boyfriend, but by family and friends and a Savior who loves and knows me best. Surely he has born MY GRIEF and I need to remember how blessed I have been and continue to be by the Lord. I have been waiting for the Golden Ticket of Happiness and I have not tried to find happiness in where I am Right now.
I will never stop hoping, but I need to find beauty and sweetness in the every day life.
(I sometimes think faces/pictures like this are what cause me to still be single...)
I need to be here now.
Up And Up (Acoustic) Lyrics
Yesterday was not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today, with every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more
'Cause it seems I get so hung up on the history of what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day is sometimes hard to see
But I'm finally catching on to it, yeah, the past is just a conduit
And the light, there at the end is where I'll be
'Cause I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of
Yeah, I'm on the up and up and yeah, there's nothing left to prove
'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
A better version of me for you
To be prosperous would not require much of me
You see, contentment is the one thing it entails
To be content with where I am and getting where I need to be
And moving past the past where I have failed
But I'm finally catching on to it and yeah, the past is just a conduit
And the light, there at the end is where I'll be
Oh, 'cause I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of
Yeah, I'm on the up and up and yeah, there's nothing left to prove
'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
A better version of me for you
Never cease to supply me with what I need for a good life
So when I'm down, I'll hold my head up high
'Cause you're the reason why, yeah, you're why
I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of
Yeah, I'm on the up and up, so yeah, there's nothing left to prove
'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today, with every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more
'Cause it seems I get so hung up on the history of what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day is sometimes hard to see
But I'm finally catching on to it, yeah, the past is just a conduit
And the light, there at the end is where I'll be
'Cause I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of
Yeah, I'm on the up and up and yeah, there's nothing left to prove
'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
A better version of me for you
To be prosperous would not require much of me
You see, contentment is the one thing it entails
To be content with where I am and getting where I need to be
And moving past the past where I have failed
But I'm finally catching on to it and yeah, the past is just a conduit
And the light, there at the end is where I'll be
Oh, 'cause I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of
Yeah, I'm on the up and up and yeah, there's nothing left to prove
'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
A better version of me for you
Never cease to supply me with what I need for a good life
So when I'm down, I'll hold my head up high
'Cause you're the reason why, yeah, you're why
I'm on the up and up, I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up, given up on what I know I'm capable of
Yeah, I'm on the up and up, so yeah, there's nothing left to prove
'Cause I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you
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