The weather has been so strange lately. It will be warm, and then cold, spring and then fall. I feel like Utah just can't decide what it wants to be.
I am learning a lot lately about myself. I started a little program with myself that I think I might present to the sisters in my ward to see how it works. It actually was inspired by my little sister's ward, but it is called 100% for 100 days. Basically, I want to be more consistent. Its not that I don't read my scriptures, its not that I don't pray, its just that I don't do it faithfully every day. So my goal is to make it 100 days without missing a day. TOUGH! At least for me, but it has been a good experience. I am finishing up both the New Testament and the Book of Mormon right now and I am learning a lot and it is so nice to have that constant contact with the scriptures. I think Elder Bednar said it best in last month's general conference when he said, 'Publicly declaring testimony when faithfulness and obedience are missing within our own homes is hypocrisy—and undermines the foundation of a great work. The commandment “Thou shalt not bear false witness” (Exodus 20:16) applies most pointedly to the hypocrite in each of us. We need to be and become more consistent. “But be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).
As we seek the Lord’s help and in His strength, we can gradually reduce the disparity between what we say and what we do, between expressing love and consistently showing it, and between bearing testimony and steadfastly living it. We can become more diligent and concerned at home as we are more faithful in learning, living, and loving the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.'
My friend Scott does a Charity Photo shoot every year. You go, he takes pictures, you pay him, he give the money to charity. I always say that I'm GOING to do it, but then I never do, but this year, it happened to fall on a day that I really needed to feel good about myself. So I got dressed up and headed up Little Cotton Wood Canyon. These are some of my favorites, but the whole shoot is on my facebook album. It was so fun to do.
This is probably my favorite. I look a lot like my mom in this picture.
This one makes me laugh because I make that face ALL the time
The someday look...only a few of you will know what that means.
I wish I had someplace to put this picture...but it'd be weird to put pictures of myself on the wall
Love love love this one
But this one might be my favorite.
I have been listening to the Format a lot lately. I am secretly obsessed with them, but this morning I heard this song and it made me think. Here are some lyrics to ponder.
On Your Porch
by The Format
I was on your porch,
The smoke sank into my skin,
So I came inside to be with you,
We talked all night,
About everything you could imagine,
'Cause come the morning, I'll be gone,
And as our eyes start to close,
I turn to you and I let you know,
That I love you.
Well, my dad was sick,
My mom she cared for him,
Her loving nursed him back to life,
And me, I ran, I couldn't even look at him,
For fear I'd have to say goodbye,
And as I start to leave,
He grabs me by the shoulder and he tells me,
"Whats left to lose? You've done enough,
And if you fail then you fail but not to us,
'Cause these last three years,
I know they have been hard,
But now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun,
Even if its alone."
So now here I sit,
In a hotel off of Sunset
My thoughts bounce off Sam's guitar,
And thats the way its been,
Ever since we were kids, but now,
Now, we've got something to prove,
And I, I can see their eyes,
Then tell me something, can they see mine?
'Cause whats left to lose?
I've done enough,
And if I fail then I fail but I gave it a shot,
'Cause these last three years I know they have been hard,
But now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun,
Even if it's alone,
(Even if it's alone)
Even if it's alone.
I was on your porch last night,
The smoke, it sank into my skin.
The smoke sank into my skin,
So I came inside to be with you,
We talked all night,
About everything you could imagine,
'Cause come the morning, I'll be gone,
And as our eyes start to close,
I turn to you and I let you know,
That I love you.
Well, my dad was sick,
My mom she cared for him,
Her loving nursed him back to life,
And me, I ran, I couldn't even look at him,
For fear I'd have to say goodbye,
And as I start to leave,
He grabs me by the shoulder and he tells me,
"Whats left to lose? You've done enough,
And if you fail then you fail but not to us,
'Cause these last three years,
I know they have been hard,
But now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun,
Even if its alone."
So now here I sit,
In a hotel off of Sunset
My thoughts bounce off Sam's guitar,
And thats the way its been,
Ever since we were kids, but now,
Now, we've got something to prove,
And I, I can see their eyes,
Then tell me something, can they see mine?
'Cause whats left to lose?
I've done enough,
And if I fail then I fail but I gave it a shot,
'Cause these last three years I know they have been hard,
But now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun,
Even if it's alone,
(Even if it's alone)
Even if it's alone.
I was on your porch last night,
The smoke, it sank into my skin.
Thanksgiving is coming...and then Christmas!
On Your Porch was the last song that was playing the last time IOR and I were together when we were still dating and he was singing along with it thru the first verse. And then he kissed me. The end.
ReplyDeleteSad story huh. :)