Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Things Worth Waiting For...

Remember that one time when I blogged about kissing?

Yeah me neither. This is a dad warning...aka dad, unless you want to hear about my kissing history, you should probably stop reading. Continue reading at your own risk.

I am not patient.


I get annoyed when the person in front of me takes forever checking out and I get pretty perturbed if the person behind me in line at security ends up getting through the pat down before me. Did I also mention I'm super mature. Cuz I am.

When I was 16 years old, I met a pretty awesome guy, who's name will not be mentioned, mainly because I don't feel like asking him if its okay to write about him. But if you're reading this, Hey! How's it going? Anyways, as most boy/girl 16 year old relationships go, we started dating. He was practically perefect in every way, kind of like the male version of Mary Poppins, or Sherry Bobbins, or Mark Wahlberg ( in which case he would be the Mormon equivalent to him since they are both already male...) but there was just one problem- his parents had promised him $1000 if he made it his entire four years of high school without having his first kiss.

I don't know if their motivation was to keep their kid out of the back seat of a car, or maybe it was one of those things that you say to someone knowing full well that you'll never have to make good on the promise because it is completely unattainable ( like telling me you'll pay me $1000 to not be sarcastic for a week or to wear outfits and makeup my mom picked out for a week. It sounds like easy money, and then I realize what that entails and I give up all together). Anyways, they promised him this money and as we started to spend more time together and hold hands (gasp!!!) the more I kept thinking, "their is no way I'm going to cost this guy a thousand bucks"

I mean, don't get me wrong, I hadn't kissed a whole lot of boys up to that point, but I had kissed a few and was pretty sure that I was a pretty decent kisser. However, I didn't think that kissing me was worth a thousand dollars. So we must have spent more than two months of our dating period just hanging out and holding hands. If I remember correctly we would email each other throughout the week and then see each other on the weekends and it's probably the most I knew about any guy I dated from the time I was 14-20. We had excellent communication, we laughed so much, had tons of inside jokes and I think I made him love his full name for the first time ever. Eventually we did kiss, but it was after we were both emotionally invested ( as much as one can be at 16) and we both knew what we we're getting into.

Fast forward 12 years. Here I am on the verge of my 28th birthday. I have seen A LOT of boyfriends come and go, kissed a lot of frogs since then, and a few weeks ago I find myself on a date where a guy tells me he doesn't kiss for three months of knowing a girl and I think to myself, "can I even do that??" at the time I thought I was totally justified in thinking that he was a total square, but as I have had time to reflect over my Christmas break, I have thought about this a lot. (I did also hang out with 16 year old wonder man and remember why I thought he was amazing and kick myself for screwing it up all those years ago...not that it wouldn't have ended anyways, but I pretty much slammed that door shut in my own face...twice)

While I am not an advocate for waiting extended periods of time to kiss (ie waiting until you get married), I think there is something to be said about being patient, letting life happen!  Are we really so focused on progression that we can't let life happen, naturally?  Is it that important to us that we 'get results' that we can't be calm??  And I'm not just referring to kissing (I know dad, you are so proud).  Change happens gradually, so can we really be upset if nothing happens after day one of our Kanye West Work Out Plan (don't google that) or if we don't learn to stand up on a surf board the first three times we go (or four...or five...or six)

The point is BE PATIENT!!  Learning and progressing and growing are all processes. I think a small part of me has always chosen to ignore how infinitely connected patience and faith are.  Faith is believing in things without seeing them.  Patience is the continual belief in something until you actually have the proof.  And then the faith converts to knowledge.  Its like math...without the numbers.  I am no good at the patience part, but I feel like lately, that is what Heavenly Father has wanted me to learn.  Patience with myself as I learn and stretch and do hard things that hurt and are uncomfortable for me.  Patience with my students as they learn and stretch and do hard things that hurt and are uncomfortable for them.  Patience with those around me who are struggling beyond what I know or understand.

The growth at the end of all of that patience is something worth waiting for.  I am worth waiting for.  That exciting moment when you figure something out after months of agonizing, or you finally stand up on that surf board or run that race and do well.  THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH WAITING FOR!! Because when the answers, or relief, or whatever it is you feel like you need comes, it means so much more, because you waited for it.

But basically what I'm saying is I am not allowed to get mad if I don't get kissed on the first date.


  1. hilarious. My parents made that same bet with me. I had to make it till I was 18 without kissing anyone. I was already "dating" a girl.. (holding hands and cuddling).. and I was pretty smitten. Lost that bet within a couple months of it being made. Best $1000 I ever "spent." My sister wasn't so lucky. The guy who "took" her first kiss turned out to be a giant douchebag and then she found out a few months later that he was gay. Great feeling, i'm sure.

    Great post. :-)

  2. At the risk of making you feel awesome... This is extremely well written and shows a depth to your personality that most people both need and lack when it comes to enjoying life and having an outer awareness and inner perspective. :oÞ

    1. Why thank you 'anonymous'. :) I am still struggling to 'be chill' but I am trying. That counts for something...right?

  3. Thanks Jody my dear! This was exactly what I needed to hear at this very moment. Inspired! Hey and I think you are good friends with one Rachel Hatch. Is this correct? Her sister, Max, is my roommate and a dear friend. She was showing me pictures of her sis and you showed up in them! Crazy world. You guys should come to California to visit! Hope you are loving life in my home state! Gotta love Tejas.

  4. I gave my first kiss to the first guy I dated when I turned 16. Looking back, it was such a waste. All he wanted was the physical part of our relationship, and I was so naive I had no idea! After that disaster, I waited to kiss the next guy until we were, as you said, emotionally invested. I ended up marrying the third guy I ever kissed ;) Talk wbout patience hahahahaha I'm gonna make sure that our daughter at least listens to our mistakes and makes her own (not repeating ours)